QUESTION: “I am interested in older men. One man that I am particularly interested in goes to my gym but he is in his late 30′s. Do guys find it unattractive when a woman is a virgin? Or just in general when guys think of women in their 20′s do they tend to be uninterested because of the age? ” - Ashley, Age 23, Single
So Ashley, you are asking two questions here. One, do men find dating women that are a virgin unattractive and two, do older men find younger women’s age a problem?
We took the questions to 1,000 men from our panel and here are the results:
Not surprisingly, most men don’t have an issue with dating a virgin. So you can rest assured that your inexperience isn’t an issue. [And unless you tell them so, they wouldn't really know during the beginnings of the dating process. So when you're saying that you like a certain older man in the gym, remember that chances are very, very high he does not know anything about your virginity.] But what did men have to say about dating a virgin? Well let’s read a few comments:
“Virginity is an outdated concept. There are so many reasons someone does not have sex and it is no unattractive if you haven’t. Some men find that amazing since they feel special to be your first and may try even harder to make sure you feel safe and secure.” – Reid, 22
“Virgins in their early 20′s demonstrate (usually) that they have other priorities than sex, which I find attractive. Non-virgins are perfectly fine, though.” – Brian, 25
“I think older men would find a virgin attractive for a few reason. First, there is an innocence about them that is attractive. They are unspoiled by any other man. They also would not be able to compare there sexual prowess to another man. Finally, a virgin would be dependent upon him to learn about sex” – Mike, 35
That said, 20% of men did say they had an issue it. Why? Most men had variations on this comment:
“Guys don’t want a girl who don’t know what they’re doing, we want someone with experience who we don’t have to teach..” – Jerry, 35
Alright. So what about the issue of age and having an “older” man being put off or uninterested due to your younger age? We asked another 1,000 men this question:
Well, again, most men did not find your age the issue.
“Guys are naturally attracted to younger women. Women are at their most attractive in their early 20s.” – Rick, 32
“Age is not the issue, it’s maturity. I’ve dated women my age that were very immature and became unattractive because of this. I would find a mature, younger aged women a real catch actually.” – Jeremy, 36
WTF is the takeaway?
Ashley, in this case the men are pretty clear. Virginity isn’t a barrier and neither is age. As Jeremy mentions here, it’s the level of maturity that makes the biggest impact. That and your ability to connect, and have common ground. And given what so many men tell us in the book, be bold and approach him. Men also appreciate a confident woman.